'Teacher, Book No Have'

This post is a reprise from more than 2 years ago.

My Cambodian students are much more studious that the ones I taught in Thailand. They don't have the same sense of fun as the Thai-and I miss that- but I've never had the experience below, or anything like it, at my Cambodian school. And I don't miss that.

Bang Na, Bangkok, Thailand, 2009

"Please open your books to page 16," I ask my class.

No one stirs.

"Open your books, please," I say slowly.

46 students and yet not one reaches for a book.

"Where is your book?" I ask one student.

"Teacher, book no have."

"Why?" I ask.

A blank face stares back at me

"Where is your book?" I try again.

"No have, teacher."

"Is it at home?"

"Yes, teacher, book at my home," she answers, unfazed.

"How many of you have your books, raise your hands, please?" I ask, already dreading the answer.

Not one hand is raised.

"How many of you have left your books at home?" I question.

Forty-five hands enthusiastically reach skyward.

"And you?" I ask the lone girl who hasn't put her hand up. "Did you bring your book?

"Yes, teacher, book have," she replies unsure of whether she should be pleased or disappointed with herself.

"How can you study without your books," I ask.

No answer.

"How can you study?" I try again.

"Teacher, book have next week," one sixteen year-old answers brightly.

"Yes, next week," the rest of the class chorus.

"Are you sure?" I question, doubtfully.

"Sure, sure, teacher. Next week, book have," they call pleased that they have surely solved my problem.

"OK, " I answer while my mind races to think of something to teach for the next fifty minutes.

"Next week, sure."

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor...

It's a new term and my young Cambodian students tell me what they want to do in the future. The boys and the girls have mostly the same aspirations; doctor, lawyer, businessman, businesswoman, pilot and architect are the most popular. Most of them- without prompting- tie their career choices back to helping their country and the poor.

Compare that to the all-boys boarding school that I worked at in Thailand for two years. There, almost without exception they wanted to be either policemen or soldiers.
Sad that they think (but who can blame them) that the forces are where the power and the glory lies in Thailand.

Pretty in Pink

Despite the frustrations of teaching there, Thailand was a fun place to live and we miss it sometimes.

We've still got mixed feelings about wearing Polo shirts to work, although that wasn't just because of the colour of the shirt. Rather it was more due to the oddness of teaching in shirts embroidered with fluffly bunnies and cute mice.

The horrible yellow coloured-shirts were Monday's compulsory attire for a very long time. That's because the auspicious Thai colour for Monday is yellow- the King's colour as he was born on that day- Thailand was awash with people showing their love for the Monarch by sporting yellow shirts.

Tuesday's colour is pink and it was compulsory to wear a Polo of that colour to school for a few months. That was because 'Pink mania' hit Thailand for a brief period when the King exited hospital after a long period of illness resplendent in a hot pink blazer.

Green is for Wednesdays, but that colour never really took off, although if you did wear anything green the Thai would appreciate the effort whether you had realized the significance of your act or not.

Thursday's auspicious colour is orange. Few Thai have taken to that colour.

Friday's is 'blue day,' and next to yellow the most popular colour as the beloved Queen- the Mother of the Nation- was born on this day.

Saturday's colour is purple and Sunday's Red.

Black is the colour of Mourning in Thailand and for several weeks we had to wear a black shirt to work everyday to mark the death of the King's sister. The official period of mourning was later extended to 3-months for government workers but luckily we foreigners were excused.

Poo Bum Man

Thai is not always an easy language to conquer, not least because you need to learn its five tones; rising, falling, high, low and mid. These tones can be difficult to master as, for example, the word Maa, can mean to come, horse, dog, or mother, depending on the tone employed. It's obvious then that there are many potential minefields to be found within this tonal system.

For the most part I think I have coped quite well with all these tones or perhaps the Thai have just been too polite to tell me when my speaking has gone seriously astray. Youngsters of course are less likely to contain themselves when their teacher makes a mess of her pronunciation and there have been countless occasions when my students have dissolved into laughter during roll call.

Luckily I always got the pronunciation of Poo correct- that nickname means erupt but, change the tone and you are calling him rotten. I didn't have a problem with my student Man either which is just as well; his nickname when pronounced correctly means diligent, but change the tone, and you would be calling him either useless, grease or potato.

I could never get the hang of the correct tone for Pao though. His nickname means Tribe but, it seems I always called him Bum! He wasn't so happy about it but all the other students loved it and a hush would fall over the class as the time for calling his name arrived. And I didn't mind that- it was the only quiet time I got during the hour.

Did you know...

that on average a Thai child reads less than 8 lines of text per day?

'C' is for...

• Commotion: Thai classes are LOUD!
• Communication: school administrators rarely tell you what you need to know. Cancelled classes, school activities, up-coming holidays? The foreign teacher is either the last to know or is never told.
• Copying: Thai students copy almost as a matter of routine. Often, for no apparent reason, the smart kids copy from the stupid rather than trying to work it out for themselves. 
• Creativity: the younger students possess it but it's quickly 'beaten' out of them as they progress through what is largely still a rote-learning system.
• Commencing classes: Thai students are usually late to class and drift in as they please.

Exam time: How's Your Hair?

The class was hushed as they feverishly worked through their exam papers. OK, OK, so feverishly over-states the case; most of the class was asleep or gazing into space, having given up on their work just twenty minutes into a two-hour exam. But, hey, at least some students were working.

Suddenly the door swung open and in marched a teacher.It was hair-length inspection time! He stomped around the room checking that the boys' hair didn't reach over their collars. When it did he stripped  I.D's  from the hapless boys; they wouldn't get those back until they had seen the school barber. All study ceased as the students watched the entertainment.

Soon the students were again sleeping, gazing or studying. And then for the second time the door opened as a female teacher stormed in, face-like thunder and carrying an armful of uniforms. Again the studying, the gazing and even the sleeping ceased. Muttering about I-don't- know-what she then proceeded to carry-out a vigorous bag search. Finally, finding nothing she left. I never did find out what that was about.

Hair and bag inspections trump exams in importance? Sadly, some in Thailand would say, "yes, they do." That's the message my students took from the day.

5 Reasons Why it's Good to Teach in a Thai High School

1. On an individual level the students are almost always polite and friendly.
2. Whilst the salary isn't great compared to other countries you can still live very well.
3. The school lunches are excellent!
   
4. Unlike some schools in the West the problems of drugs, violence and gangs are largely absent from the inside of Thai schools.
5. Whilst working in a language school allows more personal freedom- you usually only need to be at work for the hours that you teach- working at a High School means you get more of an insight into the everyday lives of your Thai colleagues. That means that there is a good chance of forging friendships with the locals rather than just hanging out with other foreign teachers which is often the case for those working at Language schools.

The Long Way Home

Teaching in Thailand, can be physically demanding especially when it requires giving physical education classes to the young ones; it's just like herding cats and the noise level of every class leaves you drained and voiceless. It is paramount, then, that the end of the day involves an icy cold beer, lots of Thai food and, most of all a good bed.

The problem was, though, that this primary school in Ayutthaya was 20 kilometres from the nearest guesthouse. Everyone at school assumed there was somewhere to stay near the school but a motorcycle taxi took me to the town centre and we couldn't find anywhere to stay. After half an hour of unsuccessful looking the driver decided to take me to his sister's house. She had several young children and wasn't impressed by her brother's intention to help out a foreigner.

So we motored on to a residential area where an old woman saw an opportunity and offered me an empty room with a squat toilet. Now, I have no problem with a squat toilet...but no bed? That is another story.

With sweat pouring down my face I waved 'thank you, but no'. I asked the moto driver to take me to the temple area 20 km away where I was sure that there would be guesthouses. It was a stunning ride through green rice paddy fields that revealed sparkling temple spires in the distance. And the wind dried my drenched forehead.

By now it was getting dark but we paused and I saw a Pad Thai vendor across the road; my favourite food! I ate feverishly. Several hours had passed but I was now sated so I hitched my bag over my shoulder and wandered down to the riverside. There in a perfect spot was a guesthouse with a vacancy; an attached cold shower and a soft bed...perfect!

Thai people will usually try and help you with anything and everything. It is incredible that the moto driver wanted to make sure I found somewhere for the night. He even presented me with a map of the temples in the area. It is this quality of the Thai people that makes living here a fascinating and enriching experience.

A Marked Man

Done!

All half-semester exams marked and entered on the system.

That might not seem much to you, but believe me after trawling through 450 papers the end of the marking season is a big deal. Worth a celebratory beer or, two, even!

Two Cold Elephants by the River

After a long hot day teaching at an Ayutthaya Primary School, I found this spot by the Chao Phraya River to sit and have a tasty dinner washed down with a well-deserved Chang beer. Chang means 'elephant' in Thai and it was two Changs that this dinner required as I sat back and watched the moon come up while rice barges and passenger ferries rolled by.

On the riverbank opposite three men brought an old couch down from their Stilt house to the waters edge and sat and drank some beer, too. From across the water I couldn't tell what beer they were drinking, but I am sure that they were enjoying theirs as much as I was mine.

The Roar!

It's rare, very rare, for me to meet a Thai student that's unlikeable.


But what about that disruptive, gum-chewing, cell-phone-using, never-shuts-up in class, "teacher- pen, paper, book, no have," student who highly resents having to learn English?

Well, he, and it's nearly always a he, will often show absolute politeness, delight at seeing me and concern for my welfare should he bump into me at school.

Individually, they are really good kids. Get them together in a class though, and the result, more often than not, is noise. True, that's probably a problem in schools everywhere, but Thai classrooms are LOUD! Even with good classes of motivated students it's a battle to reduce their deafening roar to a productive hum. It's very satisfying when that is achieved though.

Choose the Best Answer

Choose the best answer:

The children______ playing in the yard.
a. am
b. is
c. are
d. were

Jimmy ________ to stay at home after school.
a. like
b. likes
c. liking
d. liked

These are a couple of typical examples of multiple choice questions that appear in high school exams across Thailand. Both questions do of course have two possible answers. These questions were devised by a foreign, non-native English speaker for an exam that was peppered with mistakes, ambiguity and, frankly, stupidity. Experience tells me that this is the norm. It is also the norm that exams prepared by Thai teachers are riddled with errors.

So, if the teachers cannot get it right, then how the hell is the poor student supposed to manage?
The answer is they don't; despite these simple questions having two possible answers most of the students, all who have had more that 12 years of English tuition, came up with the wrong answers.

Oh, and by the way apparently Canberra isn't the capital of Australia. Rather the capital is:
a. Sydney. b. Perth c. Melbourne. or d. Darwin.

Choose the best answer!

Sleep Well!

It's 8.30 in the morning and the first exam of the day is about to begin. 18 students slowly enter the classroom and take their seats. But one student isn't happy.

"Teacher!" he says.
"Teacher, look!"

He's pointing at his desk.
"Teacher, dirty!" he says, agitated because someone has drawn on his desk.

This surprises me; he hasn't done a scrap of work all year, his trousers are almost falling off, his shirt is torn and there is a food stain down his tie, yet he wants a sparkling-clean desk?

Grumpily he gets up and switches his desk for a clean new one. Ten minutes later he's slumped over his pristine desk and fast asleep.

To be fair though, he's not the only one sleeping: a Thai teacher is, much to the delight of her exam-sitting students, gently snoring just two doors down.

Teaching in Ayutthaya - 'Blue Friday'

Friday is 'Blue day' in Ayutthaya. The whole school is awash in brightly-coloured blue hawaiian shirts. It is respectful to wear blue on Fridays firstly, for the Thai Queen as it is her birthday colour, and secondly and most important for the locals, the special floral design represents the Ayutthaya province.

This Pratom 1 (Year 2) little girl was practising making cat sounds. Interestingly, different cultures produce different animal noises. All I could hear at first was 'mao, mao' in tiny squeaky voices. It was hilarious though when I showed them that they could be BIG scary cats...even panthers! This was when the room really took off! Several Thai teachers, and some parents quickly peered through the door to see what the excitement was about.



The kids had a ball and so did I. Teaching the young ones was a real insight and pure joy for me.

Fail, Fail, Fail, Pass...

It's exam week at our school. It's something of a farce really because almost all of the students will eventually 'pass' their courses one way or another. That is, for those that fail the exam, it is likely that their mark will be substantially graded-up.

This, obviously, ensures that the student is happy but it also means that the teacher and school don't lose face; a failing student is more likely to be seen as reflecting on the hapless teacher rather than on any lazy students who always came late to class and either never studied or slept when they did finally arrive. The exam upgrade is the preferred option to ensure a failing student passes.


Too difficult?
Slept through classes and didn't study?
Never mind.

If the failure has been so bad that even the most shameless school and teacher cannot pass the student then another, easier test is often the answer- and sometimes these tests are embarassingly easy. This is the second-most preferred option. But still some fail even these 'designed to let you pass,' exams.


Couldn't pass calculus?
Never mind try some simple addition.

If this is the case then it may be that the student has to study during his or her holidays. That option is of course dreaded by both students and teachers. These study sessions are usually very remedial and should the student do even a little work then a course pass mark should finally be achieved.

And the last possible solution for the student who couldn't pass the initial test, the easier re-test or the holiday study period and who wants to remain at the same school? His or her parents may stump up some cash and pay the school off to ensure a pass. That doesn't happen at every Thai school for sure, but certainly some parents are more than willing to pay 'lunch money' to ensure that their child remains at a prestigious school if this is the only remaining option available.


Couldn't pass even the simplest test? Nevermind, there is always the 'Lunch Money' solution.

Teaching in Ayutthaya Part 1

Imagine travelling to school by boat every morning. This is exactly what this boy does with his mum.

I was a substitute teacher for 3 days in Ayutthaya, Thailand's historic city and its first capital. Situated on a beautiful stretch of the Chao Phraya river, Ayutthaya is 70km north of Bangkok. I travelled there by train; a slow, hot 4 hour journey in 3rd class . However, in the open air carriages you can take in all the scenery and the aroma of the array of food that is presented from the outside and through the windows every time the train stops. A great way to go to work but you do have to get up early and you arrive covered in grime!

My arrival at the school gate created a lot of attention, because not many foreigners come to teach at Wat-temple- schools. Quickly my arm was pulled to a corner of the quadrangle to listen to the National Anthem- played every morning everywhere in Thailand at 8.00am. This one though was special; rather than emitting from a loud speaker, it was being played by the school brass band.


At this school I taught 5 -9 year old students and they were delightful even if incredibly noisy.Having not taught this age before it was interesting to see how receptive they were to different games and activities; the Thai way of teaching children through repetition had not yet ground these kids down and they were most enthusiastic.

Megaphone Teaching

Thai students are notoriously poor listeners. Sometimes it's easy to put that down to the fact that they just don't understand what it is that their foreign teacher is saying; but it's more than that, Thai teachers have to work just as hard to make themselves heard.

A case in point occurred on Friday whilst I was teaching one of my better classes. The academic director, one of the most senior teachers in the school and a somewhat scary figure, wanted the students to rearrange the desks in my small classroom in readiness for use over the weekend. The task was simple; it required some of the desks to be put into single-file and the rest pushed to the back of the room. That should have required the work of a few students for little more than five minutes.




However, what followed was an amazing session of shouting, confusion and anger. Rather than give simple, clear instructions of what was required (and to be fair the students probably wouldn't have listened to that) the director took out her megaphone and proceeded to issue a series of apparently contradictory orders. Full blast!

And the students scurried, this way and that, falling over themselves, their desks and for one hapless student over the director herself! It was an extraordinary sight watching such an easy job cause so much grief and take so long to complete.

And, again, it's not really the students fault that they can't listen effectively; no one has taught them how.

ธรรมวินัย Discipline

"Israel is considering cutting the number of Thais allowed to work in the country, as they are seen as lacking discipline, Thai ambassador to Israel Chatchawed Chartsuwan says.
The Israeli government may boost the quota allocated to migrant workers from other countries such as Vietnam to make up any shortfall, he said."

The chickens come home to roost. If students are not taught, let alone encouraged to be disciplined then it is little wonder that opportunities in countries such as Israel are being lost by the Thai.

And that the Vietnamese look set to benefit is no surprise; they are hardworking and conscientious; not as much fun as the Thai, for sure, but disciplined, certainly. They are good people, the Thai, but they need to better strike the balance between 'sanuk' (fun) and work if they want their country to continue to develop- at the moment its drifting behind many of its Southeast Asian neighbours.

"Teacher, book no have."

This post is a reprise from more than 2 years ago.

My Cambodian students are much more studious that the ones I taught in Thailand. They don't have the same sense of fun as the Thai-and I miss that- but I've never had the experience below, or anything like it, at my Cambodian school. And I don't miss that.




Bang Na, Bangkok, Thailand, 2009

"Please open your books to page 16," I ask my class.

No one stirs.

"Open your books, please," I say slowly.

46 students and yet not one reaches for a book.

"Where is your book?" I ask one student.

"Teacher, book no have."

"Why?" I ask.

A blank face stares back at me

"Where is your book?" I try again.

"No have, teacher."

"Is it at home?"

"Yes, teacher, book at my home," she answers, unfazed.

"How many of you have your books, raise your hands, please?" I ask, already dreading the answer.

Not one hand is raised.

"How many of you have left your books at home?" I question.

Forty-five hands enthusiastically reach skyward.

"And you?" I ask the lone girl who hasn't put her hand up. "Did you bring your book?

"Yes, teacher, book have," she replies unsure of whether she should be pleased or disappointed with herself.

"How can you study without your books," I ask.

No answer.

"How can you study?" I try again.

"Teacher, book have next week," one sixteen year-old answers brightly.

"Yes, next week," the rest of the class chorus.

"Are you sure?" I question, doubtfully.

"Sure, sure, teacher. Next week, book have," they call pleased that they have surely solved my problem.

"OK, " I answer while my mind races to think of something to teach for the next fifty minutes.

"Next week, sure."