Exam time: How's Your Hair?

The class was hushed as they feverishly worked through their exam papers. OK, OK, so feverishly over-states the case; most of the class was asleep or gazing into space, having given up on their work just twenty minutes into a two-hour exam. But, hey, at least some students were working.

Suddenly the door swung open and in marched a teacher.It was hair-length inspection time! He stomped around the room checking that the boys' hair didn't reach over their collars. When it did he stripped  I.D's  from the hapless boys; they wouldn't get those back until they had seen the school barber. All study ceased as the students watched the entertainment.

Soon the students were again sleeping, gazing or studying. And then for the second time the door opened as a female teacher stormed in, face-like thunder and carrying an armful of uniforms. Again the studying, the gazing and even the sleeping ceased. Muttering about I-don't- know-what she then proceeded to carry-out a vigorous bag search. Finally, finding nothing she left. I never did find out what that was about.

Hair and bag inspections trump exams in importance? Sadly, some in Thailand would say, "yes, they do." That's the message my students took from the day.

Choose the Best Answer

Choose the best answer:

The children______ playing in the yard.
a. am
b. is
c. are
d. were

Jimmy ________ to stay at home after school.
a. like
b. likes
c. liking
d. liked

These are a couple of typical examples of multiple choice questions that appear in high school exams across Thailand. Both questions do of course have two possible answers. These questions were devised by a foreign, non-native English speaker for an exam that was peppered with mistakes, ambiguity and, frankly, stupidity. Experience tells me that this is the norm. It is also the norm that exams prepared by Thai teachers are riddled with errors.

So, if the teachers cannot get it right, then how the hell is the poor student supposed to manage?
The answer is they don't; despite these simple questions having two possible answers most of the students, all who have had more that 12 years of English tuition, came up with the wrong answers.

Oh, and by the way apparently Canberra isn't the capital of Australia. Rather the capital is:
a. Sydney. b. Perth c. Melbourne. or d. Darwin.

Choose the best answer!