"Do I look stupid?"
"Hey, I might not be able to human-speak but I don't have an auditory processing disorder."
"So as soon as my humans started talking about moving house I knew something big was up. After all, I've already been moved once before; stuffed in a cage for a long taxi-ride, what cat would ever forget that?"
"But something much more dramatic is afoot this time, I'm sure. Otherwise, why would they be checking my height, length and weight, (I have stunningly-good feline proportions) and talking about the correct cat-cage dimensions for an aircraft? "
( I prefer to call them big-birds)
"And how long is this damn trip going to be, anyway. My humans are talking about spraying pheromones in the cage (It costs $70 -I'm worth it, I tell ya) to calm me."
"Get this one, too: they are going to put rescue remedy (that's $32- but as I told you I am worth it) in my water to settle the nerves. Hmmm, what's wrong with a whiskey and a couple of panadol?
"And where is this place Cambodia?"
"Will they have mice and lizards there?"
-Vanna T. Cat