Vanna's Vacation

No one seems to talk about me much on this blog any more. I don't know why that is but I am going to take things into my own paws and tell you a little about me, and the horrible people who think that they own me. Own me? Ha, we'll see about that!

Here, on the left, you see me, Vanna, in my natural habitat. Ain't I handsome!? Ain't I fierce!? I'm busy keeping an eye on the events in the banana plantation over the fence whilst making sure the mangy soi dogs behave themselves. That's hard work but I also have to watch over and protect my human's house- they are hopless and can't do it for themselves. It's a full-time job. I have to catch mice, rats, lizards and snakes, birds, insects and falling leaves, and I have to growl at the postman. That keeps me busy. But do you think that my humans appreciate the effort?

Nope, they don't. They couldn't care less in fact! So when they decided to jet-off on a holiday they left me behind. That sucks- after all I have done for them!

 Here I am again after being thrown into a cage by one of my mean humans. I am going on a holiday of my own they tell me. OK, I still look handsome but I'm not happy. Would you be?

Shortly after this indignity I was whisked away on a motorcycle. A motorcycle, are my humans mad? Sure, it was exciting for a while but I'm a cat and we aren't made to ride on bikes of any kind. So can you blame me if I yowled and complained and shredded my bag?

And at the end of this rotten ride I found myself at the vet! Nothing good ever happens here. Nothing! But apparently I am staying here for a few weeks. This is my holiday! Some holiday- my humans stink!

I suppose my horrible humans will come back for me but can you blame me for not trusting them after all their lies and deceit? You can be sure that when I do make it home I'll show them who is boss. I'm planning howls to get out at 1 in the morning and again to get in at 3. Then in and out and in again at dawn. I'm planning a few well-timed nips to the ankles and  I am planning a liberal sprinkling of dead insects and rodents throughout the house. And just to be clear I'm going to spread the feathers of any bird I snare all over the floor. My humans hate that. But after all I have been through you wouldn't criticize me for that, would you?

Lots of hisses,

Vanna