It All Comes Out In The Wash

This is a re-post of an earlier story; we are in the rainy season now so the problem is not so much my washing being moved but more the constant reminder by my neighbour of imminent  rain. "Fon tuk, Fon, tuk!" she calls anytime the clouds begin to threaten.

I can’t wash clothes properly. Don’t believe me? Just ask any of my Thai neighbours, they will gladly, and at length, tell you that it’s true.

Error #1 I don’t wash at the right time of day. Between 6 and 6.30 in the morning is the correct time here but to me washing is to be done whenever I feel inclined and certainly not that early in the morning when I am still tucked-up in bed. The Thai can’t fathom that.

Error # 2 I don’t use a hard-bristled wooden brush in a large low basin on the ground; my aluminium sink and lack of a brush raises eyebrows; although through sheer embarrassment I’ve bought a brush that somewhat resembles the standard issue.

Error # 3 My Scrubbing is not vigorous enough. If the sound of scrubbing is not heard emanating from your residence, shame on you as a female! Even Thai males wandering past look appalled at my more gentle method.

Error #4 I soak my clothes overnight. Instead of raised eyebrows this produces facial contortions and finger pointing- at the bucket and at me- and general, heartfelt disapproval. The Thai never soak for any long period of time.

Error #5 I don’t know where to hang my washing; I look for where there is a breeze and hang my clothes in the shade. Here, though, it’s compulsory to hang clothes out in the full sun. Never mind that everything quickly fades, my neighbours are constantly moving my clothing during the day; I haven’t looked out the window for an hour or two so my clothes could be anywhere by now!

Oh, how I crave the Thai washing seal-of-approval, but as it’s not likely to come anytime soon I have resigned myself, in shame, to being one of those inferior female types; the pitiful washer-woman!